As I begin this story I know where it will lead. It is where all stories must lead: it is the end for Simeon, for Obsequious, for Selia, for Sebastien, for myself, for you. There are no surprises here. IÕve always been ham-handed with foreshadowing, and I apologize, I truly do, but as I sit here, with these chemicals coursing through my veins, I cannot help but feel that a basic degree of honesty is in order.
Again, I do apologize. I sincerely promise that IÕll attempt to keep the literary devices to a minimum.
The short black car slid through hundreds of miles and a thousand dark fields, its path depressingly clear as it worked it way towards a humble cathedral of bargain halogen lights. It was always the same path, always the same return, always this same stretch back into town. It pulled past hidden off-ramps and turnpikes and broken frontage roads. Tiny filling stations, long disused and forgotten, drifted into the blackness and back into anonymity. There was always the hope of a hitchhiker or a breakdown here: not that youÕd stop for them, but at least it would break up the monotony of the endless shoulder-length agriculture. The engine purred irregularly, and a fine layer of dust sat on the dashboard, the console. The paint was speckled with bits of dirt and bird crap and the fenders were riddled with small scars and gouges from too many parking lots. A mile was a mile was another, and if you didnÕt know the way they would seem pathetically endless.
A small aluminum box passed on the right.
Another.
Another.
One on the left.
Another.
Another.
A steady stream of cheap prefabricated housing, thank god. Civilization was approaching.
A few more miles passed and then asphalt gave way to concrete gave way to asphalt, and he was on the bridge. The river glistened invisibly below for a few moments before it was swallowed by an inch of shore and sweet, sweet urbanity. Simeon made an effort to wake up and slow down. He reached the speed limit, let the needle creep up a few miles, and tried to stay focused. The cityÕs financial center slowly panned by to his left. He jumped onto the interchange and headed east. He wasnÕt really thinking about the route, now, he didnÕt need to anymore, and he honestly didnÕt remember the next few miles. He caught his exit, jerking the car down to speed, and made his way under the highway and down a lane of old brick buildings flanked by women strolling with lopsided ostrich gaits laughing with pubescent men filled with poisons. There was a VCR repair shop, a small ethnic restaurant, and a carwash that he had never seen open. Another mile and the people disappeared, the lights grew to a steady skyward white, and sprinklers peppered barren parking lots with wasted water. He pulled into one of those lots, killed the engine, grabbed his luggage, staggered up a flight of stairs, fumbled for his keys, unlocked the door, turned the knob, cursed, fumbled for his keys, unlocked the bolt, turned the knob, cursed, and banged on the door for a full minute until it unlocked itself. He turned the knob, opened the door, muttered something to Selia who muttered something to him, dropped his bags, closed the door, locked the door, locked the bolt, locked the bolt, kicked off his shoes, wriggled out of his clothes, and followed Selia to bed, where they both promptly collapsed.
Simeon Cale was home again, and all was well in Lawrence, Kansas.
The cylinders in the clock rolled and rolled and rolled and finally hit 2:00 AM.
A small motor turned. The latches slowly retracted and the left half of the bed scissored downward, dropping SimeonÕs naked form onto a chilled plate of thin steel. Simeon started away, the cold running through his back. He gasped and coughed, choking for air, desperately trying to catch his wind, writhing around on the plate. For a few moments he retreated instinctively into a fetal ball, rolling back and forth like a pill bug in the hands of a sadistic child, trying to minimize his contact with the metal. He found the part of him that liked it, that felt the bite intimately and welcomed it, feeling the shock and the cool pain, hiding in his minority of pleasure. For a moment that worked, he thought he could feel the plate warming to his hip and belly and shoulder when he shifted an inch and it felt like his flesh was sticking and tearing off his muscle. He yelped and rolled sharply to the left, arm shielding his nipple, and slid onto the cool, forgiving concrete. Simeon staggered to his feet. A chill ran down his spine, shaking his body, and he stumbled around in a small circle for a moment, murmuring incoherently to himself.
Simeon looked over at Selia, still lying on her side of the bed in blissful, ignorant slumber. He stood there, heat slowly leeching from his bare feet, staring at her, so innocent and warm. She made a small noise and pulled the thick, soft comforter over her face. He stood and watched for several long moments, his mind slowly trying to digest a mˇlange of questions and dream fragments and recurring disappointment, and turned, and slowly trudged towards the washroom.
It was another morning.
He made his way to the toilet, dangled his testicles just over the hole and slowly collapsed downward onto it, the paint warming to his butt. A switch flipped and his bladder released itself. He sat for a while, hunched and immobile, emptying into the bowl. When there was no more he reached for a thin washcloth, wiped the urine and sweat from his undercarriage, dropped it into the hole, pulled a lever Š at which the toilet exploded into a roar of activity Š and lumbered up towards the door, which he threw shut with a swipe of his arm.
Simeon turned towards the wall now and spent a while staring at his face in the mirror, tasting the sleep in his mouth. He looked at his face for a while, searching around the stubble and cheekbones and nose and eventually, for a moment, could see his eyes. This seemed to ground him in himself, warming his thoughts to the next few steps, making him able to instinctively perform the next act.
Simeon turned and shuffled three feet to the right, towards a vertical cylinder in the wall made from cheap semitransparent plastic, grasped the latch, and stepped in. He closed the door behind himself, reached up to manipulate the nozzle in the ceiling directly above him, slid a small level towards the center, and punched a button. A hail of water opened up upon him, instantly drenching him and driving him to his knees with its force. He rolled around in the bottom of the tube for a moment, alternately trying to expose and protect his sensitive areas, gasping as water rolled down his head into his nose and mouth.
The water shut off.
Simeon hacked a bit for a few moments, coughed up some fluid, and rolled into a sitting position. He blinked twice and opened his eyes wide and reach up and started wiping off his rough scalp, slapping at it with his hands like shammies. He grabbed his face and buried it in those hands, squeezing his cheeks and temples hard between his fingers, kneading his face like old dough, and then slid his hand down and into his legs. He sighed heavily and sat motionless for a few seconds, drinking it in, and pulled himself reluctantly to his feet. He reached for a bottle of mild detergent, squeezed a fistful onto his scalp, and methodically worked it down his body. He rubbed it around his scalp, slid it down the back of his head, up around his ears and onto his forehead. Squeezing his eyes shut he rubbed it down his face, around his nose, into his beard, all around his neck. He paused for moment to wipe the detergent from his eyes, opened them, and was immediately overcome with a terrible burning. He winced and closed his eyes, squeezing them rhythmically to flush the bleach out. After a moment he resumed, skimming handfuls of the stuff off his head and rubbing them through his chest and nipples, over the top of his back, down around his arms, back up his arms where he kneaded it into his pits, down his sides, over the small of his back, across his belly, and down into his crotch. He ran the stuff through his pubes, over his penis, and kneaded his balls. He ran his hands back around his butt and into his crack, using the blade of his hand to work it into the ass hairs, using his fingers to gently clean out the rim of his ass. He felt a low burning sensation, but had more or less grown jaded to it. He worked the detergent down over his thighs, behind his knees, over his shins, between his toes. For some reason he ran his fingernails cursorily across his body. There was a pleasant tingling sensation and, after a moment, an unpleasant tingling sensation. He wiped his hands off on his sides, reached up for the nozzle, pushed the button, and was immediately collapsed back onto his knees by the water.
Simeon opened the door, still wiping water from his face, and grabbed an electric blow drier from its hook. He flipped a switch and aimed it at his head, which was immediately hit with a powerful stream of nearly scalding dry air. He winced his eyes shut as he moved it over his face and cringed as it passed his ears. He ran it around his beard for just long enough to smell a hint of singed hair, and moved it across his body, working his way down an erratic semi-spiral towards his penis. He pulled the drier as far as he could while still being effective, making for several long, tense moments before he moved on to his ass. He squeezed one of his cheeks and navigated blindly around his crack with a cautious skill earned by years of experience, and then moved on to his legs. He flipped he switch off, hung the drier back up in its cradle, and emerged from the shower, dry enough that his the residual moisture would evaporate in a few minutes.
He made his way over the counter, grabbed a can of mineral oil, rubbed a small amount into his scalp, and reached for his electric buffer. He paused, the small black unit sitting heavy in his hand, and examined his reflection. There was a thin layer of stubble all across his scalp, particularly pronounced in thin dark lines within the creases of his callous. There were countless white bumps hiding tiny ingrown hairs, and a couple of zits were forming. He looked terrible Š after all, he hadnÕt buffed for days.
Simeon flipped the switch on the machine, which came to life with a low hum, and set the spinning pad down on the very top of his head. He could immediately feel it, grabbing and pulling and twisting and scraping, and moved it in slow circles all around his skull. He worked his way back towards his neck, down carefully the sides behind his ears, up and over and nearly down onto his brow. He pulled it back and tapped carefully at his eyebrows, polishing the hair cleanly off. Simeon ran his hand over his scalp, making note of the spots heÕd missed, and gave them another quick pass or two. When he was satisfied he switched the machine off, wiped the oil and hair and skin off of it, and set it back on the counter. He examined himself carefully in the mirror, tilting his head back and forward, slowly rolling it from left to right. It was missing something.
Simeon slid open a drawer and pulled out a small piece of finishing sandpaper. He paused to make sure his head was at just right angle, and gave the left side of his scalp several sharp, rapid swipes. He rolled his head to the left, switched the paper to his other hand, and swiped the right side of his head three or four times. He rolled his head left and right for a moment, thought for a moment, rolled it to the left, hit himself with two quick swipes, rolled his head back and forth again appraisingly, rolled it to the right, hit himself with one particularly sharp swipe, thought about it for a moment, and set the paper down. He carefully, lovingly wiped the debris from it, rinsed the blood from it, dried it, and returned it to the drawer.
He reached into a box sitting on the counter and pulled out a thin, clean washcloth. He ran a bit of water over it, rung it out, swabbed the blood from his head, and set it down. He grabbed another, dabbed the remaining moisture away, and reached for his alum disk, which he dabbed with water and rubbed over his head. It stung as it slid across all the fine abrasions, and stung particularly as it crossed the deep streaks heÕd worn into his temples, and the blood quickly caked into deep, handsome black scabs. He rinsed and dried the disk, returning it, and made a quick, light pass with the dry cloth to pick up any stray white bits of alum. He pulled out a small green bottle of designer acetone and dabbed a bit Š just a bit! Š onto his scalp. He capped the bottle, set it down on the counter, and clapped his hands together. Simeon took a moment to examine himself in the mirror.
Not too shabby!
As he was leaving the washroom he heard a click and a bang, a terrible scrabbling noise of nails on steel and SeliaÕs pained moaning. He stepped into the bedroom, careful to avoid her flailing limbs, and opened his clothes trunk.
Simeon pulled out a cotton pad, which he clenched under his right armpit, and held it tight with a cotton/polyester gauze that he wrapped over and under his shoulder, down across his chest, and tied back onto itself. He pulled out another cotton pad, clenched it in his left armpit, and repeated the process. Selia gasped and let out a small cry.
Simeon pulled out a different length of cotton/polyester gauze, thought about it for a moment, and exchanged it for a length of silk/polyester gauze. He was feeling saucy today! He took one end, wrapped it carefully twice around his testicles, ran it between his right testicle and thigh, through and up across his crack, up over his right hip, around his waist, looped it over itself on his back, brought it back down his crack and between his left testicle and thigh, and tied it off on his waist. Selia shifted onto her left side. She shuddered and sucked in a lungful of air as her nipple kissed the smooth surface of the plate.
Simeon considered his suits. Today felt formal, and a bit classical, so he went with the dark green. He unfolded it methodically, careful to preserve the creases, and put each piece on as if it were a cherished ritual. Which, frankly, it was. He pulled out a pair of straps, sat down, wrapped them around his feet, cinched them taught, and slid on a pair of ebony loafers with suede ribbing. Finally, Simeon stood and opened another chest to find just the right tie for today. He found a two-tone checkerboard pattern that seemed appropriate and briskly strung it around his throat and over his shoulders. Selia whimpered, crawled onto the cool, forgiving concrete, and let out an involuntary shudder. She lay there for a moment staring off blankly at the wall.
Simeon walked out of the bedroom and into the pantry, where he picked out a small package of breakfast cakes, a tube of gel, and a disposable thermos. He opened the tube, squeezed a bit into his mouth, and rubbed it around his gums with his finger. An immediate jolt of energy ran through his system. His digits twitched and he could feel a vein in his neck, and another in his shoulder, throb with a warm vitality, shedding off any last vestiges of fatigue. Yes, it was going to be a good day.
Heading back to the bedroom to the bedroom to say goodbye to Selia, he found her staggering down the hall towards the wash room. He smiled at her puffy face and knotted hair.
ŅGood morning, bright eyes!Ó
ŅWaaash rooooommmmÉÓ
He smiled and ran his hand down her naked, unadorned spine in an affectionately perfunctory manner. ŅAlright,Ó he chuckled, Ņhave a good day.Ó
Selia made a low gurgling sound, and he kissed her on the cheek, turned, and headed for the door.
What do I have to say today?
I find it incredibly difficult to write this stuff, and here we are, only a few pages into the effort. ItÕs not that I canÕt write anything. Aimless introspection, pointless ramblings about nothing that meander on for pages, congealed thought fragments daisy-chained into an endless moebius-strip circle-jerk Š that, I can do. But to approach a body of thought that must have some integration, some coherence, some internal consistency is almost a Herculean task. ItÕs like doing my taxes or writing thank you notes. ItÕs a killer.
IÕve had a little luck by applying a modicum of common sense to this thing. For starters, IÕve actually tried to articulate to myself what it is IÕm to be writing about, how itÕs supposed to go, what I think itÕs all supposed to mean. ThatÕs helped. Not a lot, but itÕs helped. I at least have some idea where IÕm going Š a terribly concrete idea, really Š and that has some use. IÕm still driving in little circles around point A, but I know where Omega is. It would be nice, of course, if I had some idea of the route between them, I thought I had some idea of the route between them, but itÕs turning out to be little more than the notion that I should Ņhead west.Ó Well, thanks.
For a while I thought that a quota was the key. A fixed period of time, a fixed number of words. ThatÕs better than nothing, I suppose, but itÕs still remarkably open-ended. ŅHead west, drive five hundred miles a day.Ó Thank you so much.
What is becoming increasingly clear to me is that I do not need a goal here so much as I need a purpose. Looking at an odometer is just depressing. On the other hand, I find things go more smoothly if I ask myself before sitting down, ŅWhat do I have to say today?Ó What is important? Or trivial? Or utterly unconnected? What is it that is floating around in my head that I can take and congeal into something tangible and pound into the void? What do I have to get off my chest? Or, more modestly, what will get me through tonight without being utterly disappointed with my efforts? Five hundred miles is a drag, but I can at least make it to the next town.
Then you hit a point like this. Nothing. Just nothing. How do you push on through it? YouÕve found yourself in some little ghost town, lost in a web of unmarked broken roads. Congratulations.
God, I hate symbolism. I detest it, I really do. ItÕs always seemed to me an empty artificial conceit. Maybe that just makes me sound like some chain-smoking trailerpark refugee. ŅSoy sauce? What in the hell is that crap? You havenÕt been hanging around those chinamen, have you boy? Answer me!Ó Nonetheless, I canÕt stand it. Long ago, back in school, I was asked to read The Old Man in the Sea and to explain the symbolism. I said that Hemingway was talking about international terrorism.
I didnÕt get a very high grade on that assignment.
I want to cut myself open and bleed on the pages. That all sounds very poetic, I guess, but itÕs really not. I want to take tawdry secrets about myself and put them down here, hide them in plain sight, like a dirty old man standing naked in his window. Somehow, though, IÕm just not tawdry enough. I suppose I could blow off this project, join the navy, and spend all of my income on hookers and the curious local intoxicants that all of my toothless friends are raving about, or I could just bleed lies. I wish that was a tough choice. And thatÕs really how you and I have gotten to this point, isnÕt it? My friend, weÕre suffering from a profound hooker deficiency. Send help.
Maybe I should have another cigarette, stand in the night air, take a few sips of my drink, watch the spattered traffic, and consider my options. Consider our options.
Oh, god, this is terrible.
Simeon grabbed his keys, reached the door, and paused. There was a low, staccato clicking noise, which was unmistakably directed at him. Simeon looked up.
Just above the door was a bald, wrinkly grey creature, it legs splayed in a star, clinging to the wall like a spider. Its tail flowed in an endless sinuous wave and its ears flicked ceaseless backward and forward. Its yellow eyes focused on Simeon, its rectangular pupils dilating to best view him.
ŅHello, Tilapia,Ó Simeon smiled. The creature clicked an acknowledgement and skittered down to head-height. Simeon grabbed a handful of the scruff of its neck and kneaded it firmly with his fingers. Tilapia chattered with contentment.
ŅHow are you doing, boy? How are you today?Ó Tilapia clicked and cooed. ŅHowÕs my boy today?Ó Tilapia was lost in bliss.
Tilapia was gay, which was understandable, since thatÕs how Simeon had ordered him. Simeon had found that he preferred gay pets. The operation was no more expensive than a neutering, and he felt it was more humane. They tended to be more affectionate towards him and they retained their spunk, so to speak.
ŅHow are you? How are you? Aw, thatÕs good. Aw, thatÕs right. WhoÕs my boy? ThatÕs right. ThatÕs right. ThatÕs my boy. HowÕs my boy? ThatÕs right. ThatÕs good. ThatÕs right.Ó
Within SimeonÕs grip and his own, Tilapia was rocking his head and body back and forth, writhing every muscle he could under his loose skin, under SimeonÕs fingers.
ŅAre you hungry, boy? Are you hungry? LetÕs get you something. LetÕs get you something. Yes, letÕs get you something.Ó
Simeon wrapped his hands around Tilapia and pulled him from the door. Tilapia clung tenaciously for a moment, then remembered the prospect of food, and released himself. Simeon held him to his chest, which he immediately attached himself to. Simeon carried him to the kitchen, tugged gently at him until Tilapia remembered to let go, and set him on the floor, which he clung to. Simeon rummaged around in a drawer for pet food.
ŅLetÕs seeÉ ŌLamb Heart Ceviche,Õ you had that yesterday, didnÕt you? HmmÉ How does ŌCesos FiestaÕ sound? Yeah? Yeah? ŌCesos Fiesta?Õ Sound good? Sound good? Well, okay then!Ó
Of course, it wasnÕt real cesos, and of course Tilapia didnÕt care what flavor he ate, but Simeon enjoyed the ritual, and Tilapia enjoyed hearing the familiar sound of the top being popped off a disposable bowl. He was happier still when it was set in front of him. He nipped and lapped and swallowed contentedly. Simeon rubbed his back briskly for a moment, whispered a few kind words, called out a farewell to Selia, and left.
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 4:28:06. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
IÕm looking pretty fine today, if I do say so myself. Ladies, beware! =P
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 4:31:42. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
| IÕm looking pretty fine today, if I do say so myself. Ladies, beware! =P
Prude.
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 4:34:13. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|| IÕm looking pretty fine today, if I do say so myself. Ladies, beware! =P
|
| Prude.
I didn't mean that. I was crazed with power! The power of The Network!
I'm helpless.
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 4:39:35. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
||| IÕm looking pretty fine today, if I do say so myself. Ladies, beware! =P
||
|| Prude.
|
| I didn't mean that. I was crazed with power! The power of The Network!
|
|
| I'm helpless.
I can feel it! I can feel the cosmos!
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 4:43:50. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|||| IÕm looking pretty fine today, if I do say so myself. Ladies, beware! =P
|||
||| Prude.
||
|| I didn't mean that. I was crazed with power! The power of The Network!
||
||
|| I'm helpless.
|
| I can feel it! I can feel the cosmos!
I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING.
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 4:52:50. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
||||| IÕm looking pretty fine today, if I do say so myself. Ladies, beware! =P
||||
|||| Prude.
|||
||| I didn't mean that. I was crazed with power! The power of The Network!
|||
|||
||| I'm helpless.
||
|| I can feel it! I can feel the cosmos!
|
|I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING.
LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 4:54:58. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|||||| IÕm looking pretty fine today, if I do say so myself. Ladies, beware! =P
|||||
||||| Prude.
||||
|||| I didn't mean that. I was crazed with power! The power of The Network!
||||
||||
|||| I'm helpless.
|||
||| I can feel it! I can feel the cosmos!
||
||I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING.
|
|LIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I remain unpersuaded.
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 5:08:59. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
| I remain unpersuaded.
Weak, dude. Weak.
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 5:34:32. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|| I remain unpersuaded.
|
| Weak, dude. Weak.
You're the white Ursula Rucker.
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 5:35:50. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
||| I remain unpersuaded.
||
|| Weak, dude. Weak.
|
| You're the white Ursula Rucker.
Yeah, well you're the white FUCK YOU.
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 5:37:40. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|||| I remain unpersuaded.
|||
||| Weak, dude. Weak.
||
|| You're the white Ursula Rucker.
|
| Yeah, well you're the white FUCK YOU.
That... doesn't even make sense.
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 5:41:58. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
||||| I remain unpersuaded.
||||
|||| Weak, dude. Weak.
|||
||| You're the white Ursula Rucker.
||
|| Yeah, well you're the white FUCK YOU.
|
| That... doesn't even make sense.
How about this, I'll say it slowly: FUCK. YOU.
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 5:47:05. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|||||| I remain unpersuaded.
|||||
||||| Weak, dude. Weak.
||||
|||| You're the white Ursula Rucker.
|||
||| Yeah, well you're the white FUCK YOU.
||
|| That... doesn't even make sense.
|
| How about this, I'll say it slowly: FUCK. YOU.
You are the soul of wit.
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 5:58:31. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
||||||| I remain unpersuaded.
||||||
|||||| Weak, dude. Weak.
|||||
||||| You're the white Ursula Rucker.
||||
|||| Yeah, well you're the white FUCK YOU.
|||
||| That... doesn't even make sense.
||
|| How about this, I'll say it slowly: FUCK. YOU.
|
| You are the soul of wit.
Brevity is the soul of wit. I'm the soul of FUCK YOU.
P.S.: FUCK YOU.
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 6:11:37. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
| Brevity is the soul of wit. I'm the soul of FUCK YOU.
|
|
|
|
| P.S.: FUCK YOU.
Dude, just... just go to hell. Seriously. Seriously, go to hell.
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 6:17:55. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|| Brevity is the soul of wit. I'm the soul of FUCK YOU.
||
||
||
||
|| P.S.: FUCK YOU.
|
| Dude, just... just go to hell. Seriously. Seriously, go to hell.
Brilliant. Bravo, oh, bravo! How I want to shower you with roses and a black silken cape!
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Pimpin'
Date: November 11, 2005 6:19:07. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
||| Brevity is the soul of wit. I'm the soul of FUCK YOU.
|||
|||
|||
|||
||| P.S.: FUCK YOU.
||
|| Dude, just... just go to hell. Seriously. Seriously, go to hell.
|
| Brilliant. Bravo, oh, bravo! How I want to shower you with roses and a black silken cape!
Guess what? FUCK YOU.
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: [hominids] Uncle Ho Chi sez...
Date: November 11, 2005 6:21:28. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
| Guess what? FUCK YOU.
VICTORY! Saigon is MINE!
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Uncle Ho Chi sez...
Date: November 11, 2005 6:23:36. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|| Guess what? FUCK YOU.
|
| VICTORY! Saigon is MINE!
wtf?
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Uncle Ho Chi sez...
Date: November 11, 2005 6:26:33. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|| Guess what? FUCK YOU.
|
| VICTORY! Saigon is MINE!
Wait, don't you mean "Uncle Ho?"
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Uncle Ho Chi sez...
Date: November 11, 2005 6:28:09. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
||| Guess what? FUCK YOU.
||
|| VICTORY! Saigon is MINE!
|
| Wait, don't you mean "Uncle Ho?"
Too easy...
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
From: !{geod, panix, wholesale, ice-9}!kroger!barney!ks!mr.cale
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Uncle Ho Chi sez...
Date: November 11, 2005 6:30:11. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
|||| Guess what? FUCK YOU.
|||
||| VICTORY! Saigon is MINE!
||
|| Wait, don't you mean "Uncle Ho?"
|
| Too easy...
Whatever.
From: !{splendor, flavor, tggh}!trex!dromiceiomimus!obsequious.j
Subject: Thread: [hominids] Uncle Ho Chi sez...
Date: November 11, 2005 6:39:14. Morning. Central Standardized Zone.
To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
Reply-To: !{vesuvius, splendor, ice-9}!solicious!jupiter!callisto!hominids
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
||||| Guess what? FUCK YOU.
||||
|||| VICTORY! Saigon is MINE!
|||
||| Wait, don't you mean "Uncle Ho?"
||
|| Too easy...
|
| Whatever.
SUFFER, ROUNDEYE!
~~~~
"All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies." - Bokonon
By any reasonable standard, Simeon had a perfectly comfortable life. He put in a typical twelve-hour day at a job that no one quite understood, his supervisors included, at an organization that no one quite cared about, his supervisors included. His office was a meager one-hour commute outside of town. While his salary wasnÕt remarkable, it was more than enough to keep him in images and amphetamines.
He had a woman he enjoyed. She was plain, but beautiful in her own way, and Simeon liked that. She didnÕt have any metal or plastic in her, and she had all of her fingers. Simeon had always found typical women to be more trouble than they were worth, and not-so-secretly thrilled at his womanÕs casual, earthy allure.
He had three friends that he would sometimes meet with after work for eight-balls and smoking and to leer at women, a perfectly respectable social life.
He led an active life. He walked recreationally. He enjoyed several different genres. He hand-rolled his own marijuana cigarettes. His slang was current. HeÕd watch news headlines sometimes several times a week. He was a member in good standing of a bulk goods wholesaler. On occasion, heÕd read.
He wasnÕt even gay.
By any objective measure, Simeon should have been happy. Mind you, he wasnÕt miserable: heÕd be the first to acknowledge that he was comfortable, and that that comfort went quite a long way. Still, something was missing.
[blah blah blah]
Something was lacking from his life.
Well, now, where have we gotten ourselves? IÕd say weÕve adequately established the loose parameters around SimeonÕs life. We have a passable sense of the narrow slice of the world that surrounds him, we sense its character and the dynamics that underlie it. Of course while SimeonÕs life is hopeless a result of his world, itÕs not necessarily characteristic of it. Rather, itÕs simply a characteristic of it, and one might read this and miss the all of the grand variety that exists. We could explore the lives of farmers, of fishers, of men who slice meat. We could explore marketing, money, politics. What of people in other countries? Those who starve, the handful of gluttons who put Simeon and his people to shame? War? Diplomacy? Adolescence? Disease? Prison? Hard labor?
So much to say, so very much to say.
But this isnÕt really that sort of story, is it? This is SimeonÕs story, and SimeonÕs story may be many things, but a sweeping epic it is not. It is a small story of a small life which is, of course, powerfully significant to one person, and of some significance to a handful of others. Please do not misread me. I mean nothing demeaning or patronizing or quaint by that observation. That scale, that scope is as characteristic of SimeonÕs life as it is of many, many, many others; perhaps all of them. It almost seems, and forgive me if this sounds nihilistic or self-defeating, that the extent to which you influence the lives of others simply cannot belong to you, you must surrender that aspect of yourself to those that you touch. The broader your impact, the thinner your life becomes.
Then again, maybe thatÕs an over-intellectualization. Frankly, maybe thatÕs just bullshit. You and I both know that there is no shortage of rich fuckers who are happy to open or close businesses that employ thousands, to build or destroy economies of towns and states and nations, who think nothing of sending the poor and patriotic off to die, and who are motivated in all of these things by little more than enlightened self-interest. Perhaps some lives simply are more important than others, and no amount of philosophizing about who ŅownsÓ their life will really change that base fact.
Well, whatever.
All of that aside, weÕre simply talking about Simeon. What remains to be said? We could explore a typical day at the office for him Š more than we have, anyway Š but IÕll be honest: thatÕs got to be incredibly boring. Frankly, IÕm bored just thinking about it. I imagine there would be a great deal of repetition of things which are, more or less by their nature, simply unamusing. I could try to sex it up, maybe throw in an accident with a binding device or a few gags with some sort of inter-office messaging system, but why? Seriously, why would I want to do that? I donÕt want to like SimeonÕs job. I donÕt want to like it, and I honestly doubt that you do, either. I mean, SimeonÕs not even thrilled with it Š heÕs comfortable with it, but he wouldnÕt bother to explain it in more than two or three sentences. His couch is comfortable, too, but IÕm not going to write a novel about that.
ItÕs worth noting that we just passed word #6,660. That position may change by the time this is all edited and expanded or prunted and reformatted or simply forgotten, but I feel itÕs significant within the history of the project. 6,660 is, after all, divisible by 10. It utterly trembles with potency.
Anyway, what were we talking about? His job? Oh, yes, SimeonÕs job. How would an entire chapter about his job benefit either of us? How would it benefit anyone? Seriously, seriously, how? Why in godÕs name would anyone want to read that? Why would anyone want to write it?
So, something else, then.
We havenÕt really investigated his interpersonal relations, now, have we? Yes, yes, thereÕs room for that. ThereÕs something to be said there.
As an aside: There are few things more powerful than repetition. If something seems impossible, just do it and it will get smaller. Keep doing it and it will shrink and shrink and shrink. Repetition transmogrifies perception. I suppose thatÕs why some people keep chasing new challenges: given time, their mastery might otherwise turn to comfort.
A taxi pulled into the middle of an empty lot. It parked and shut off its lights. A small light went on inside the cabin.
A while passed.
A taxi pulled into the middle of the empty lot. It parked next to the other cab, and shut off its lights. The cabin light of the first taxi went off. They rolled down their windows, and sat.
A while passed.
Across the street, Simeon stepped out onto his balcony, shivered in the frigid air, pulled his coat tight, and sat in the nearer chair. He opened up a fresh pack of Jamaican Gold marijuana cigarettes, drew one out, and lit up. He took a deep breath, held it for a moment, exhaled a small, sticky white cloud, and relaxed into his seat.
He sat there a few moments, just staring off into space, thinking nothing, seeing nothing, and then he noticed a star, and remembered where he was. He watched a handful of tiny flashing dots slowly cutting a thin invisible line towards the airport. There was information encoded in that, and for a moment, Simeon wondered what it was. He watched the lights for a while, and then noticed the star again. It twinkled slightly against its halo, again the rich oranged-blue of the night sky. He searched the sky for other stars, and found two.
In the night around him, the city opened up and under and over him in flowing waves of rooftops and balconies and darkened windows and radio dishes. Street lights and shop signs rolled endlessly beneath him, dotted with scattered, anemic trees, rippled with power lines, cresting with illuminated billboards, undulating by zoning restrictions, by economics, by history, by fashion. SimeonÕs corner of this was neither old nor rich nor fashionable, and traffic was sparse around here this late at night. He sat for a time, slowly going through cigarette after cigarette, watching a handful of cars trickle irregularly down the streets like little glistening rivulets of rain. His let his mind wander to think of thin, rambling slices of everything, to think of nothing in particular, shaking softly all the while. And then, once the fingers of his smoking hand had gone comfortably numb from the cold, and his mind and shoulders and back had grown sufficiently soft and pliant, he put the pack and his lighter back into his pocket, found his feet, and went inside to sleep.
A while passed.
The first taxi rolled up its window, started its engine, turned on its lights, and drove off.
A moment passed.
The second taxi rolled up its window, started its engine, turned on its lights, and drove off in the other direction.
1. I consider myself to be kind: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
2. I consider myself to be happy: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x]
4[] 5[] Agree
3. I consider myself to be unique: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
4. I consider myself to be fashionable: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
5. I consider myself to be relaxed: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
6. I consider myself to be original: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
7. I consider myself to be inquisitive: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
8. I consider myself to be realistic: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
9. I consider myself to be cruel: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x]
4[] 5[] Agree
10. I consider myself to be curious: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
11. I consider myself to be worrisome: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
12. I consider myself to be studious: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
13. I consider myself to be efficient: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
14. I consider myself to be rude: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
15. I consider myself to be difficult: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
16. I consider myself to be conformist: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
17. I consider myself to be reflective: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
18. I consider myself to be intelligent: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
19. I consider myself to be individualistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
20. I consider myself to be someone who finds faults with
myself: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
21. I consider myself to be someone who finds faults with others: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
22. I consider myself to be stylish: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
23. I consider myself to be someone who questions
authority: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
24. I consider myself to be redundant: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
25. I consider myself to be obsequious: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
26. I consider myself to be basically good: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
27. I consider myself to be calm: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
28. I consider myself to be inefficient: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
29. I consider myself to be serene: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
30. I consider myself to be someone with an active
imagination: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
31. I consider myself to be evil: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
32. I consider myself to be somewhat careless: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
33. I consider myself to be tense: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x]
4[] 5[] Agree
34. I consider myself to be assertive: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
35. I consider myself to be trusting: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
36. I consider myself to be shy: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
37. I consider myself to be wasteful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
38. I consider myself to be nice: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
39. I consider myself to be passive: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
40. I consider myself to be introspective: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
41. I consider myself to be ŅgothicÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
42. I consider myself to be terse: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x]
4[] 5[] Agree
43. I consider myself to be someone with an overactive
imagination: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
44. I consider myself to be nice, once you get to know me: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
45. I consider myself to be energetic: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
46. I consider myself to be slovenly: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
47. I consider myself to be angry: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x]
4[] 5[] Agree
48. I consider myself to be disorganized: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
49. I consider myself to be a gourmet: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
50. I consider myself to be artistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
51. I consider myself to be complicit: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
52. I consider myself to be outgoing: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
53. I consider myself to be passive-assertive: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
54. I consider myself to be a jerk: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
55. I consider myself to be giving: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
56. I consider myself to be gay: Disagree 1[x] 2[] 3[] 4[] 5[] Agree
57. I consider myself to be sadistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
58. I consider myself to be withdrawn: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
59. I consider myself to be inhibited: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
60. I consider myself to be gibbering: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
61. I consider myself to be contagious: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
62. I consider myself to be Ņproto-punkÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
63. I consider myself to be a jerk, once you get to know
me: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
64. I consider myself to be organized: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
65. I consider myself to be ŅwordyÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
66. I consider myself to be aesthetically-inclined: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
67. I consider myself to be aggressive: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
68. I consider myself to be a creature of habit: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
69. I consider myself to be nervous: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
70. I consider myself to be passive-aggressive: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
71. I consider myself to be brooding: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
72. I consider myself to be culinary: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
73. I consider myself to be a dick: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
74. I consider myself to be considerate: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
75. I consider myself to be spontaneous: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
76. I consider myself to be someone who is set in my ways: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
77. I consider myself to be ugly Ņon the outsideÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
78. I consider myself to be lazy: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
79. I consider myself to be a Ņlittle bit countryÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
80. I consider myself to be basically careless: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
81. I consider myself to be organized about things that
matter: Disagree 1[] 2[]
3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
82. I consider myself to be helpful: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
83. I consider myself to be a ŅfoodieÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
84. I consider myself to be adaptable: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
85. I consider myself to be a ŅsuckerÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
86. I consider myself to be basically rotten: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
87. I consider myself to be desperately addicted to
routine: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
88. I consider myself to be scarred for life: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
89. I consider myself to be a Ņlittle bit rock-and-rollÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
90. I consider myself to be vivacious: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
91. I consider myself to be a walking-disaster: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
92. I consider myself to be someone who tends to offer
encouragement to others: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
93. I consider myself to be arrogant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
94. I consider myself to be petulant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
95. I consider myself to be agreeable: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
96. I consider myself to be ŅcontagiousÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
97. I consider myself to be festering: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
98. I consider myself to be a bitch: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
99. I consider myself to be thorough: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
100.
I consider myself to be
someone who Ņfeels the darknessÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
101.
I consider myself to be a
gourmand: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
102.
I consider myself to be
selfish: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
103.
I consider myself to be
Ņpr0n-liciousÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
104.
I consider myself to be
someone with a strong sense of identity: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
105.
I consider myself to be
contrary: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
106.
I consider myself to be
disdainful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
107.
I consider myself to be
stable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
108.
I consider myself to be
dependable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
109.
I consider myself to be a
slut: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
110.
I consider myself to be
distrusting: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
111.
I consider myself to be
moody: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
112.
I consider myself to be
emotionally stable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
113.
I consider myself to be
ŅcoldÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
114.
I consider myself to be
forgiving: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
115.
I consider myself to be a
walking train-wreck: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
116.
I consider myself to be
deep: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
117.
I consider myself to be
masculine: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
118.
I consider myself to be
queer: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
119.
I consider myself to be
disorganized about things that matter: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
120.
I consider myself to be
open: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
121.
I consider myself to be a
whore: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
122.
I consider myself to be
damning: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
123.
I consider myself to be
ugly Ņon the insideÓ: Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
124.
I consider myself to be
basically worthless: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
125.
I consider myself to be
fearful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
126.
I consider myself to be a
good worker: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
127.
I consider myself to be
someone who perseveres: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
128.
I consider myself to be
redundant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
129.
I consider myself to be
Ņon fireÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
130.
I consider myself to be
ingenuous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
131.
I consider myself to be
courageous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
132.
I consider myself to be
aloof: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
133.
I consider myself to be
emotionally unstable: Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
134.
I consider myself to be
inventive: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
135.
I consider myself to be
promising: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
136.
I consider myself to be
someone who will persevere in the end: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
137.
I consider myself to be
disquiet: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
138.
I consider myself to be
someone who does not keep promises: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
139.
I consider myself to be
shallow: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
140.
I consider myself to be
feminine: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
141.
I consider myself to be a
man-slut: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
142.
I consider myself to be
someone who degrades the efforts of others on their own merits: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
143.
I consider myself to be
wasted: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
144.
I consider myself to be
doomed: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
145.
I consider myself to be
blue: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
146.
I consider myself to be
ŅwarmÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
147.
I consider myself to be
quiet: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
148.
I consider myself to be a
ticking timebomb: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
149.
I consider myself to be
someone who is: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
150.
I consider myself to be
reserved: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
151.
I consider myself to be
drained: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
152.
I consider myself to be a
man-whore: Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
153.
I consider myself to be
open to new experiences: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
154.
I consider myself to be
ŅemoÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
155.
I consider myself to be
set in my ways: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
156.
I consider myself to be
ŅandrogynousÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
157.
I consider myself to be
redundant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
158.
I consider myself to be
loud: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
159.
I consider myself to be
pompous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
160.
I consider myself to be
adventurous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
161.
I consider myself to be
homosexual: Disagree
1[x] 2[] 3[] 4[] 5[] Agree
162.
I consider myself to be
deceitful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
163.
I consider myself to be
angry, so very, very angry!: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
164.
I consider myself to be
broken: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
165.
I consider myself to be
spent: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
166.
I consider myself to be
ŅfunÓ: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
167.
I consider myself to be
an asshole: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
168.
I consider myself to be
fearless: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
169.
I consider myself to be
someone who degrades the efforts of others for ŅfunÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
170.
I consider myself to be
biding my time: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
171.
I consider myself to be
expended: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
172.
I consider myself to be
Ņa seekerÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
173.
I consider myself to be a
Ņteam playerÓ: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
174.
I consider myself to be
flavorful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
175.
I consider myself to be
tired: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
176.
I consider myself to be
morally bankrupt: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
177.
I consider myself to be
morally tax-exempt: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
178.
I consider myself to be a
tease: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
179.
I consider myself to be
enthralled: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
180.
I consider myself to be
programmed: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
181.
I consider myself to be
deprogrammed: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
182.
I consider myself to be
attached: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
183.
I consider myself to be
detached: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
184.
I consider myself to be
opinionated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
185.
I consider myself to be
someone with good oral hygiene: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
186.
I consider myself to be
someone who could have better oral hygiene: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
187.
I consider myself to be
someone who cares about oral hygiene: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
188.
I consider myself to be someone
who does not care about the opinions of others: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
189.
I consider myself to be
someone who cares about the opinions of others: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
190.
I consider myself to be
Arian: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
191.
I consider myself to be
Thuringian: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
192.
I consider myself to be
tone-deaf: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
193.
I consider myself to be
"toothy": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
194.
I consider myself to be
trifling: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
195.
I consider myself to be
trim: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
196.
I consider myself to be
trusted: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
197.
I consider myself to be
unabraded: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
198.
I consider myself to be
newsworthy: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
199.
I consider myself to be
sanctioned: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
200.
I consider myself to be
traditional: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
201.
I consider myself to be
untraditional: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
202.
I consider myself to be
"edgy": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
203.
I consider myself to be
tactful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
204.
I consider myself to be
understandable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
205.
I consider myself to be
unwanted: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
206.
I consider myself to be
unnameable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
207.
I consider myself to be
unacknowledged: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
208.
I consider myself to be
assimilated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
209.
I consider myself to be
baptized: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
210.
I consider myself to be
callous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
211.
I consider myself to be
unclear: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
212.
I consider myself to be
clichˇd: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
213.
I consider myself to be
uncredentialed: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
214.
I consider myself to be
forthcoming: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
215.
I consider myself to be
unintelligible: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
216.
I consider myself to be
heroic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
217.
I consider myself to be
unrealized: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
218.
I consider myself to be
inexplicable: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
219.
I consider myself to be
enterprising: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
220.
I consider myself to be
unenviable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
221.
I consider myself to be
enviable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
222.
I consider myself to be
knowledgeable: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
223.
I consider myself to be
defenestrated: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
224.
I consider myself to be
unheeded: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
225.
I consider myself to be
inert: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
226.
I consider myself to be
ostentatious: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
227.
I consider myself to be
redundant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
228.
I consider myself to be
informed: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
229.
I consider myself to be
current: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
230.
I consider myself to be
"unsalted": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
231.
I consider myself to be
unreliable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
232.
I consider myself to be
unrepentant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
233.
I consider myself to be
repentant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
234.
I consider myself to be a
"nerd": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
235.
I consider myself to be a
"geek": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
236.
I consider myself to be
an "employee": Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
237.
I consider myself to be
traveled: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
238.
I consider myself to be
worldly: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
239.
I consider myself to be
unusual: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
240.
I consider myself to be
usual: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
241.
I consider myself to be
sterile: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
242.
I consider myself to be
frivolous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
243.
I consider myself to be
exotic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
244.
I consider myself to be
sharp: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
245.
I consider myself to be
showy: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
246.
I consider myself to be
sinewy: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
247.
I consider myself to be
scrupulous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
248.
I consider myself to be
ethical: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
249.
I consider myself to be
inimitable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
250.
I consider myself to be
genteel: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
251.
I consider myself to be
unlamented: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
252.
I consider myself to be
industrious: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
253.
I consider myself to be
"authentic": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
254.
I consider myself to be
censured: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
255.
I consider myself to be
embarrassed: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
256.
I consider myself to be
embarrassing: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
257.
I consider myself to be
unawakened: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
258.
I consider myself to be
awakened: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
259.
I consider myself to be
apologetic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
260.
I consider myself to be
an apologist: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
261.
I consider myself to be
bureaucratic: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
262.
I consider myself to be
rankled: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
263.
I consider myself to be
"ironic": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
264.
I consider myself to be
sarcastic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
265.
I consider myself to be
biting: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
266.
I consider myself to be
scathing: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
267.
I consider myself to be
cloying: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
268.
I consider myself to be
neurotic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
269.
I consider myself to be
obsessive: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
270.
I consider myself to be
compulsive: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
271.
I consider myself to be
chauvinistic: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
272.
I consider myself to be a
"feminist": Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
273.
I consider myself to be
relieved: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
274.
I consider myself to be
contrived: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
275.
I consider myself to be
convoluted: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
276.
I consider myself to be
credulous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
277.
I consider myself to be
incredulous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
278.
I consider myself to be
jaded: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
279.
I consider myself to be
disjointed: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
280.
I consider myself to be
cynical: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
281.
I consider myself to be
expurgated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
282.
I consider myself to be
exsanguinated: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
283.
I consider myself to be
exposed: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
284.
I consider myself to be
preening: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
285.
I consider myself to be
ready: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
286.
I consider myself to be
reformed: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
287.
I consider myself to be
free to make my own decisions: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
288.
I consider myself to be a
slave to my conditions: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
289.
I consider myself to be a
slave to my decisions: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
290.
I consider myself to be
robotic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
291.
I consider myself to be
revolutionary: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
292.
I consider myself to be
fresh: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
293.
I consider myself to be
flavorful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
294.
I consider myself to be
fleshy: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
295.
I consider myself to be
corpulent: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
296.
I consider myself to be
pungent: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
297.
I consider myself to be
amiable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
298.
I consider myself to be
ambulatory: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
299.
I consider myself to be
redundant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
300.
I consider myself to be
occupied: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
301.
I consider myself to be
party to murder: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
302.
I consider myself to be
parsimonious: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
303.
I consider myself to be
prurient: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
304.
I consider myself to be
untraveled: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
305.
I consider myself to be
particular: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
306.
I consider myself to be
musical: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
307.
I consider myself to be
rhythmic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
308.
I consider myself to be
ruthless: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
309.
I consider myself to be
remedial: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
310.
I consider myself to be
deathly pale: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
311.
I consider myself to be
pallid: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
312.
I consider myself to be
bisexual: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
313.
I consider myself to be
ambiguous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
314.
I consider myself to be
challenging: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
315.
I consider myself to be
challenged: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
316.
I consider myself to be
autistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
317.
I consider myself to be
ADHD: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
318.
I consider myself to be
disenfranchised: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
319.
I consider myself to be
felicitous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
320.
I consider myself to be
old: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
321.
I consider myself to be
young: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
322.
I consider myself to be
mature: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
323.
I consider myself to be
immature: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
324.
I consider myself to be
gibbous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
325.
I consider myself to be a
grotesque mockery: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
326.
I consider myself to be
fallen: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
327.
I consider myself to be
hormonal: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
328.
I consider myself to be
cyclical: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
329.
I consider myself to be
asymmetric: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
330.
I consider myself to be
homogenous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
331.
I consider myself to be a
hypochondriac: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
332.
I consider myself to be
hypnagogic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
333.
I consider myself to be
an ingˇnue: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
334.
I consider myself to be desirable: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
335.
I consider myself to be
an addictive personality: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
336.
I consider myself to be
free: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
337.
I consider myself to be
limited: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
338.
I consider myself to be
vociferous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
339.
I consider myself to be
nimble: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
340.
I consider myself to be
wise: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
341.
I consider myself to be
proud: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
342.
I consider myself to be
straight: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[] 4[] 5[x] Agree
343.
I consider myself to be
greedy: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
344.
I consider myself to be
vengeful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
345.
I consider myself to be
wronged: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
346.
I consider myself to be
pressured: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
347.
I consider myself to be
tawdry: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
348.
I consider myself to be
successful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
349.
I consider myself to be a
failure: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
350.
I consider myself to be
culturally adept: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
351.
I consider myself to be
culturally inept: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
352.
I consider myself to be "wired": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
353.
I consider myself to be
compassionate: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
354.
I consider myself to be
empathic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
355.
I consider myself to be
sympathetic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
356.
I consider myself to be
suicidal: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
357.
I consider myself to be
sophomoric: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
358.
I consider myself to be a
member of the establishment: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
359.
I consider myself to be
exceptional: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
360.
I consider myself to be
above-average: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
361.
I consider myself to be
special: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
362.
I consider myself to be
smarter than most others: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
363.
I consider myself to be
human: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
364.
I consider myself to be
one with the universe: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
365.
I consider myself to be
enlightened: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
366.
I consider myself to be
foolish: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
367.
I consider myself to be
worthy: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
368.
I consider myself to be
unworthy: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
369.
I consider myself to be
naked: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
370.
I consider myself to be
hairy: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
371.
I consider myself to be
redundant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
372.
I consider myself to be
alien: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
373.
I consider myself to be
alienated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
374.
I consider myself to be
alienating: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
375.
I consider myself to be
two-faced: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
376.
I consider myself to be
honest: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
377.
I consider myself to be
straightforward: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
378.
I consider myself to be
docile: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
379.
I consider myself to be
domesticated: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
380.
I consider myself to be
feral: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
381.
I consider myself to be
mortal: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
382.
I consider myself to be
immortal: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
383.
I consider myself to be
potent: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
384.
I consider myself to be
impotent: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
385.
I consider myself to be
omnipotent: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
386.
I consider myself to be
pusillanimous: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
387.
I consider myself to be
innocuous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
388.
I consider myself to be
inoculated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
389.
I consider myself to be
shapely: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
390.
I consider myself to be
synthetic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
391.
I consider myself to be
more machine than (wo)man: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
392.
I consider myself to be
innovative: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
393.
I consider myself to be
grounded: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
394.
I consider myself to be
centered: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
395.
I consider myself to be
dualistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
396.
I consider myself to be
wealthy: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
397.
I consider myself to be
poor: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
398.
I consider myself to be
indigent: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
399.
I consider myself to be
respectable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
400.
I consider myself to be a
sham: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
401.
I consider myself to be
monogamous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
402.
I consider myself to be
serially monogamous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
403.
I consider myself to be
occidental: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
404.
I consider myself to be
contemplative: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
405.
I consider myself to be
scientific: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
406.
I consider myself to be
rational: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
407.
I consider myself to be
superstitious: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
408.
I consider myself to be
impressionable: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
409.
I consider myself to be
impressionistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
410.
I consider myself to be
expressive: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
411.
I consider myself to be
expressionistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
412.
I consider myself to be
"existential": Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
413.
I consider myself to be
thrown: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
414.
I consider myself to be
skeptical: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
415.
I consider myself to be
bulimic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
416.
I consider myself to be
anorexic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
417.
I consider myself to be
masochistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
418.
I consider myself to be
gleeful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
419.
I consider myself to be
an excellent driver: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
420.
I consider myself to be a
terrible driver: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
421.
I consider myself to be
strident: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
422.
I consider myself to be
xenophobic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
423.
I consider myself to be
tribal: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
424.
I consider myself to be
tribalistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
425.
I consider myself to be
patriotic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
426.
I consider myself to be
patronizing: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
427.
I consider myself to be a
willing fascist stooge: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
428.
I consider myself to be a
worker-priest: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
429.
I consider myself to be a
warmonger: Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
430.
I consider myself to be
carnivorous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
431.
I consider myself to be
herbivorous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
432.
I consider myself to be
omnivorous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
433.
I consider myself to be
picky: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
434.
I consider myself to be a
philosophical zombie: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
435.
I consider myself to be a
zoophilic: Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
436.
I consider myself to be
pessimistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
437.
I consider myself to be a
Zoroastrian: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
438.
I consider myself to be a
Mithraist: Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
439.
I consider myself to be
peckish: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
440.
I consider myself to be
desiccated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
441.
I consider myself to be
dehydrated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
442.
I consider myself to be
joyful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
443.
I consider myself to be
germane: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
444.
I consider myself to be
urbane: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
445.
I consider myself to be
redundant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
446.
I consider myself to be
witty: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
447.
I consider myself to be
moist: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
448.
I consider myself to be
talented: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
449.
I consider myself to be
an emotional derelict: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
450.
I consider myself to be a
"communist": Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
451.
I consider myself to be
faithful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
452.
I consider myself to be
devoted: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
453.
I consider myself to be
scheming: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
454.
I consider myself to be
conniving: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
455.
I consider myself to be
guileless: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
456.
I consider myself to be
political: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
457.
I consider myself to be
community-minded: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
458.
I consider myself to be
isolated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
459.
I consider myself to be
isolationist: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
460.
I consider myself to be a
dreamer: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
461.
I consider myself to be a
sell-out: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
462.
I consider myself to be
Chinese: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
463.
I consider myself to be
exasperated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
464.
I consider myself to be
exonerated: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
465.
I consider myself to be
bipedal: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
466.
I consider myself to be
loved: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
467.
I consider myself to be
loving: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
468.
I consider myself to be
unbiased: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
469.
I consider myself to be
anemic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
470.
I consider myself to be
healthy: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
471.
I consider myself to be
ill: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
472.
I consider myself to be
idealistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
473.
I consider myself to be
optimistic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
474.
I consider myself to be
overbearing: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
475.
I consider myself to be
cooperative: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
476.
I consider myself to be
disingenuous: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
477.
I consider myself to be
religious: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
478.
I consider myself to be
spiritual: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
479.
I consider myself to be
"nutty": Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
480.
I consider myself to be
desperate: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
481.
I consider myself to be
melodramatic: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
482.
I consider myself to be
preposterous: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
483.
I consider myself to be
absurd: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
484.
I consider myself to be
socially liberal: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
485.
I consider myself to be
socially conservative: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
486.
I consider myself to be
economically liberal: Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
487.
I consider myself to be
economically conservative: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
488.
I consider myself to be
sophisticated artistically: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
489.
I consider myself to be
sophisticated technically: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
490.
I consider myself to be
distractible: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
491.
I consider myself to be
engaged: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
492.
I consider myself to be
politically engaged: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
493.
I consider myself to be
someone with high self-esteem: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
494.
I consider myself to be
someone with low self-esteem: Disagree 1[]
2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
495.
I consider myself to be
complex: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
496.
I consider myself to be
simple: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
497.
I consider myself to be
focused: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
498.
I consider myself to be
driven: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
499.
I consider myself to be
messed up: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
500.
I consider myself to be
playful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
501.
I consider myself to be
thoughtful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
502.
I consider myself to be a
heavy drinker: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
503.
I consider myself to be a
teetotaler: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
504.
I consider myself to be
stupid: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
505.
I consider myself to be
persistent: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
506.
I consider myself to be
stubborn: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
507.
I consider myself to be
clueless: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
508.
I consider myself to be
perceptive: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
509.
I consider myself to be
seething with a quiet rage: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
510.
I consider myself to be
duplicitous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
511.
I consider myself to be
dubious: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
512.
I consider myself to be a
social drinker: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
513.
I consider myself to be a
drunk: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
514.
I consider myself to be a
stoner: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
515.
I consider myself to be a
lush: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
516.
I consider myself to be a
prude: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
517.
I consider myself to be
adventurous: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
518.
I consider myself to be
timid: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
519.
I consider myself to be
redundant: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
520.
I consider myself to be
snarky: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
521.
I consider myself to be
wistful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
522.
I consider myself to be
fed up with this crap: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
523.
I consider myself to be
crude: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
524.
I consider myself to be
vulgar: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
525.
I consider myself to be
overweight: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
526.
I consider myself to be
thin: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
527.
I consider myself to be
athletic: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
528.
I consider myself to be
svelte: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
529.
I consider myself to be
bored: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
530.
I consider myself to be
boring: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
531.
I consider myself to be
the life of the party: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
532.
I consider myself to be
nondescript: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
533.
I consider myself to be
bookish: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
534.
I consider myself to be
plain: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
535.
I consider myself to be
theatrical: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
536.
I consider myself to be
stifled: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
537.
I consider myself to be
lost: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
538.
I consider myself to be
hurt: Disagree 1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
539.
I consider myself to be
hurtful: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
540.
I consider myself to be
tiresome: Disagree
1[] 2[] 3[x] 4[] 5[] Agree
Your results are: TYPICAL.